Planning in a time of Pandemic

Last week, I wrote a piece about upcoming plans the people in my larger poly group had (though I only finished editing it today because I’ve been wrapped up in other things.). Things changed quickly after that though. #1's FWB cancelled because of fears of Coronavirus on Wednesday night. That night it felt like a possible overreaction. By Friday night, #2's partner's conference in a month had been cancelled, and thus our overnight time together. 

But it wasn't only those plans that were cancelled. A few people I know are working from home but I also know people who basically aren't working for the foreseeable future. A bartender who is now just without a job, a bartender /server who is trying to get by on people picking up food from the pub they work at. Even a lawyer who isn't doing any work at the moment because court has been cancelled for a month.

Even I didn't work the beginning of this week, though that was because I got sick - with strep. Yep, during a pandemic I managed to get sick with something completely different. Between having both children at my apartment and being sick with strep, which #1 is particularly susceptible to, I haven't even seen him like usual. #2 and I managed to squeeze in some time today but seeing #2 is up in the air in the future for various reasons, including that if either one of us had a temp, we wouldn't meet up just in case the one with a temp did have covid-19, so the other wasn't spreading it to their household. There is also the constant threat of city-wide lockdown, which could start at any moment. Of course, 3 years ago I decided to choose the one profession that IS still working right now, healthcare. For better or for worse though, I am not working in a facility at all at the moment and am not even sure if I will continue to work if a lockdown happens. In addition to still bringing in a paycheck, I do know how lucky I am to be able to see my partners at all. Many people either can’t or they or their partners are choosing not to see anyone other than who they live with at the moment. As many poly people only live with one partner, or no partners at all, they are going to go through this without seeing the people they love, or having to choose which partner that is. 

As as I am writing this, a message from #2 and a text from my mother came in at almost the same time. Our metro area now has an order to stay in except from essential duties starting Tuesday. It may not change anything other than that what was once a strong suggestion has now become an order. It will probably mean that I won’t get to see #2 until all this blows over. It is also one step closer to a more formal lockdown. At this point though, other than definitely not getting to see anyone other than #1, my kids, and people I work with/for, since I am still working but wasn’t doing anything non-essential anyway, it won’t change my life much. 

And yet it still feels like a big change to life. And a big downer.

I think that is all from me for now. I think I’m going to work on some of my other writing. After letting things sit while I was sick last weekend, I finally hooked up my little crummy laptop that has broken Q, A, and 1 keys to a USB keyboard, finished the editing of the previous post and started working on this one. After I edit and hopefully post this one tonight, I think I’m going to work on my fiction. Even though it is supposed to be a scary story, it seems like it might lighten my mood more than reality. 

I do have one nice poly story for you in this time of pandemic.

So last weekend was my weekend with both children. Now, both kids just started pre-school this last fall. It was their first exposure to the germ factory that is a roomful of other children and they have been sick ever since. Especially one of them. When I got them on Friday, their dad told me that neither of them had a fever but one still had a (wet) cough and the other had a runny nose. Meh. Whatever. Just another weekend with them. Saturday I developed a headache and my ears ached. When I did a daily temp check, I found that we all had elevated temperatures, in the 100-101 range. Fuck. They didn’t complain of any new symptoms and we just stayed inside. Sunday we have the same thing, except that now my throat hurts. Bad. Like glass. Warm things do not help. Still have elevated temps. Kids still feel fine. I call the doctor and the nurse doing phone triage says that it doesn’t sound like COVID, call if any new symptoms occur, but we can probably just self quarantine for this too, until temp goes away. Now, while we don’t think this is COVID, the kids’ dad has respiratory issues, so I tell my exes that I’ll just keep the kids overnight and call in sick for Monday. 

Monday morning rolls around and it is now definitely strep that I have. My temp is over 102 now and there is now more pain on one side than the other. The kids’ other mom has the day off work as they decide what they are doing, so she offers to come over and help with the kids. She even stays the night for Monday and Tuesday night, while the kids’ temp gets back to normal and I get some rest too. Now, she didn’t have to do that. I also didn’t have to keep the kids at my house, as it wasn’t what our custody arrangement is. I have never had another adult stay over at my apartment with me. While I have a really civil relationship with my exes, we are still exes and not exactly friends at this point. At first, I was a bit uncomfortable with her there. I’m sure it wasn’t the most comfortable for her either. It isn’t something I really want to do again. AND it helped so much and worked out really well for all of us to get our needs met. I am so grateful that I had that help and that even though things ended, we can still come together when we need to. I even think that she and I helped mend some fences in the talking we did while she was there. 

Take care of yourselves. Take care of those you love. Try to use this time that you may be stuck in and around your house to do things you’ve been putting off, like that home project or writing that story. Get outside and enjoy some sunshine, even if you can’t do it with other people. And if you still have to work because you work for essential services, thank you. I hope that you also stay well.